What is the purpose of your life and mine?
It’s a question we wouldn’t ask if we had more time.
But we’ve only got a century or so before we die.
So I’ll ask you again:
Why are you here?
And more importantly, who’s to say?
The moment we talk about meaning and who makes it, we’re opening a can of worms that hasn’t been closed for thousands of years.
Our most brilliant minds have been in an ongoing discussion about it, and as it turns out, they keep coming to one conclusion:
We’re responsible for making our own meaning.
So who’s to say why you’re here?
Well, I’d like to suggest that you are the only one who can answer that question for three reasons:
1. You’ve got all the context.
It’s your story to live and your story to tell.
Only you were there when your earliest passions sprang to life.
Only you know where the pain is buried and what will make it surface.
Only you understand the role your family played on how you turned out.
Only you know where you were when you decided others weren’t going to lead the way anymore.
There is no one else on this planet with the necessary context to begin to make meaning for you.
Even the best-researched biography is secondary to one handwritten page from the subject herself.
So if no one else should make meaning for you, why not make it yourself?
2. Your life’s purpose is riding on it.
What is the right next step?
Only you can say.
Wisdom like that begins with self-love and self-understanding, which are long journeys of their own.
But when we walk them, we cultivate the ground to love and understand others…worth it, right?
So I’ll begin by asking:
Have you practiced kindness with yourself lately?
Is your inner voice nurturing and encouraging?
How are you at loving yourself?
Self-love is a foundation we can’t do without.
There is a reason Jesus said we should love our neighbor “as we love ourselves.”
It’s an inside job that we’re after.
You start with love, then you move into understanding.
Begin with kind curiosity and go from there:
Who are you, and what were your most formative experiences?
What do you still need to learn about yourself?
Where would you like to go next?
Make meaning from whatever surfaces, and seek loving (and professional) input on the matter.
When we love and understand ourselves, the right next step has a tendency to surface.
When the spring is cleared, we can shift our focus to where it flows.
Your purpose isn’t written on a letter in a bottle somewhere waiting to be found.
You have more agency than that.
Start with love and understanding.
And remember, your purpose will shift and change as you sail. ⛵️
With very few anchors in place, it’s your job to pay attention to the wind and make meaning as you go.
3. If you don’t, who will?
This idea of an outside opinion on the matter is a bit of a narcissist.
No one else can, and no one else should, tell the story that is only yours to tell.
We speculate about the meaning of life, but for some reason, we feel very little authority to make meaning of our own.
Many of us wouldn’t be caught dead doing such a thing.
Are we afraid we’ll be perceived as self-absorbed?
Are we afraid to pin ourselves down?
Are we afraid we’ll get it wrong?
In An Altar in the World, Barbara Brown Taylor writes:
“The meaning we give to what happens in our lives is our final, inviolable freedom.”
She’s talking about prayer and our ability—our right—to discern whether God answered us or not.
You asked God for something specific, but years later, you’re not sure if She answered?
Who’s to decide?
Only you can discern the answers of the Almighty in your own life.
Sure, you can ask for feedback.
But I imagine you trust those other voices more than your own.
We all seem to start there. Our institutions encourage it.
We give up our power to make meaning.
We return to our jail cells because they feel more familiar than freedom.
And more than anything, we don’t have to be responsible for getting it wrong.
What would happen if you claimed authority, made meaning, and moved in the direction that your life called you into only to find that you were wrong?
Well, let me tell you…
I did that once.
I told everyone I knew my life’s purpose. I shouted it from the rooftops of the internet and wrote it in stone.
I had made meaning, and anyone who doubted me would be proven wrong.
But my need to prove that I mattered had been undermining me all along.
And yet, here I am years later, finally able to speak to what happened.
When it comes to making meaning in your own life, the secret is this:
You can’t get it wrong.
In the end,
All the meaning you make
Finds a place to belong.
So what is the purpose of your life and mine?
Well, that is a story only we get to write.
And we should probably get going because we’re all gonna die.