This year, my desire is to learn what it means to follow.
To follow God,
to follow goodness,
to follow blessing.
And we can’t talk about what it means to follow until we talk about control.
Let’s be real, I love control.
There’s nothing quite like planning ahead, avoiding discomfort and inefficiency, and experiencing a predicted outcome.
I get all worked up just thinking about it.
Which is probably why I’ve been led here, to this word of the year.
Follow.
But when we are in control of every minute of the day, when we pre-plan and pre-decide where each moment will lead, there is no room for the Spirit to work in our lives.
There is nothing to follow when we haven’t allowed Him to lead. Without quiet moments, we’re unable to hear Her speak.
This not a slam on an intentional schedule overall, but as usual, this is not an all-or-nothing discussion.
To follow, there has to be space in my life to be led.
When do you get this space in your day-to-day? Perhaps this is a good place for us to start—create space in your days by doing less.
The word for the year is follow.
After that space is made, I still need to know what to follow.
We had a pastor in New York who often said, “follow peace.”
This elegant bit of wisdom has proven true again and again, and it is a good next step.
Follow peace.
And we find peace in flow, not force.
We find peace in letting go, which brings us full circle back to control.
So in this season of resolutions, remember that forcing yourself into rigid schedules and setting higher and higher expectations leaves no space for the ebb and flow of energy and desire.
And when we deny ourselves the ability to produce from a place of energy or to express and meet our greatest desires, discontent will come for us, and ultimately, resentment will too, not just of ourselves, but of the ones around us who don’t live with such rigidity.
Make space, follow peace.
If the word for the year is follow, how do I know where I’m being led?
I believe there is an answer to be found in the following reflection:
Where is the goodness in your life that’s outside of your control?
It’s one thing to force your body into a diet and exercise plan that reduces your body fat percentage and call that goodness.
Is it actually good if it robs you of the space you need to listen for God and the peace that comes from letting go? Is a merely physical and chemical outcome worth the mental or emotional costs required?
This is not a slam on diet and exercise, it is a call to wholeheartedness in a culture where we’ve been told that the surface of our lives matter the most…
A culture that says the appearance of things is more important than the soul of things.
Where is the goodness in your life that’s outside of your control?
Where is the laughter and connection and pleasure? In what moments do you find yourself saying, Oh wow, this is heaven?
For those of us who know how to force an outcome and stay in control, this distinction is everything:
Where is God blessing you that you’re not forcing the outcome?
It is the American way—create the life that you want. Maximize your days for efficiency and productivity, and when you climb the ladder only to find that happiness isn’t waiting for you, keep climbing anyway.
This cycle of self-denial, productivity, and predictability is not what it promises to be. Ask the elders in your life, the ones who have been around the block a time or two, and you’ll see.
There are industries where self-denying disciplines are more heavily rewarded, but there is always a cost with control, even if it takes years for that cost to emerge.
But when we let go of control and follow, what is the path to goodness that presents itself that we didn’t pre-determine?
If you have been taught that the secret to a happy life is to “Go out there and make it happen,” this clarity is essential.
Who is in control here?
I guess the real question is, who do you want to be in control here?
Last summer, I had an intimate experience of being led that was too good not to follow.
I read a book about feminine spirituality, and I was filled with excitement and energy. I followed this excitement and ended up writing a yearlong email series about Feminism and Christianity in less than three weeks.
The process filled me with so much joy, I couldn’t help it—I had to follow it.
It was an explosive and miraculous moment in time.
This mother of young children was up with the sun writing and out with the moon writing too, and not because I’d pre-determined my most productive minutes and maximized my days. Rather, I followed the creative energy, the blessing, and it sustained me.
It was wholly out of my control.
The paradox? In three weeks, I wrote more words than I’d written in the previous six months on any writing schedule.
I didn’t schedule this blessing, it was a gift.
And after putting this email series out into the world, where I had no control over how it would be received, the blessing came again: In just over six weeks, one thousand people signed up for it.
Three thousand years ago, this wisdom was written into the Proverbs:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
When we take control, we are not in submission.
When we follow where God leads, our paths will be straight.
For the “spiritual but not religious” crowd, this same truth applies. There are forced outcomes, and there is followed goodness. One life is self-punishing and exhausting, and there is never enough. The other is simple and open to what the universe has conspired in their favor.
So I’ll ask you again.
Where are you being led and blessed that you’re not in control?
Where is God giving you goodness that you didn’t play a role in receiving?
The word for the year is follow.
For me, that means following goodness wherever it leads, trusting my energy and desire, and letting go of control.
This year, follow means allowing my blessing to be my guide.